What to call the Oregonian?

From time to time, monikers such as "the Mausoleum Club," "the Drones Club," "the Temple of Capitalism," and the like find their way into my posts, as substitutes for the ordinary names of those fine institutions.  It occurred to me that I’ve never blessed the Oregonian with a similar name.  In the middle of the 19th Century, the Times of London picked up the nickname "the Thunderer" for its "imperious editorials," and indeed has been spoofed under that name in fiction.  This made me think that "the Whimperer" might be appropriate for our own local news source, particularly after I read its apologetic report of the Pulitzer Prize won by Mr. Jaquiss at Willamette Week.  What do you think?