More proof that sugared cereals are bad for you

The boxes of Lucky Charms cereal now in stores have a game on the back similar to Chutes and Ladders, except that the ladders are replaced by whirlwinds and the chutes are replaced by spoons. Along the path are five or six geography questions that play no part in the game itself but add a thin patina of education to the game.

The Laquedemitasse, given a box of Lucky Charms as a special treat, posed the questions, one of which was to name the longest river in the world. Having been brought up on Art Fleming’s Jeopardy program, I was able to reply instantly, “The Nile.” “Wrong,” said the Laquedemitasse, “it’s the Amazon. It says so on the box.” I took out an atlas and stretched my fingers first over South America and then over Africa. “The Amazon is only this long,” I said, “and the Nile is this long. The Nile is longer.”

The next question was to name the place in the United States that has recorded the hottest temperature. “Death Valley, California,” I said. “Wrong,” he said, “it’s Death Valley, Nevada.”

Out came the atlas. “Here is Nevada, and here is California. And here is the town of Death Valley, in the middle of the valley, in California. The box is wrong.” “No,” he said, “you’re wrong. The box has to be right.”

It’s one thing, General Mills, for you to rot the teeth of the next generation; we have a good dentist on the counterattack. But if you print mistakes like these on your cereal boxes, how will he qualify to get on Jeopardy?