Changeover at City Hall

City Hall was stunned this morning when Mayor Katz (theme song here) and the four city councilors resigned their offices and simultaneously appointed their replacements.

“I’ve had it with crowded urban living,” Katz told reporters as she climbed into her new Ford Expedition, waving her freshly-issued driver’s license before driving off to Lake Oswego, where she recently bought a house on two acres. “It’s suburban sprawl for me, folks!” She has put her Northwest Portland house up for sale, and is taking a job as project manager for Homer Williams.

Jim Francesconi will continue his campaign to succeed Katz as mayor, but is giving up his seat on the council. “I can’t run against the current administration if there isn’t a current administration to run against, so I have to quit.”

Erik Sten, leaving office midway through his third term, will become the general manager of the Heathman Hotel. “I’ve always been a proponent of SRO housing, and this will extend my experience into another segment of the market.”

Randy Leonard will return to his former job as a firefighter. “I’m back to putting out small fires, instead of firing small outputters,” he quipped.

Dan Saltzman had no comment.

In a prearranged deal, the councilors are staggering their resignations throughout the day so that they can appoint their replacements, who will serve until a special election can be called. Portland Tribune columnist Phil Stanford will be the mayor and Willamette Week publisher Richard Meeker will be one of the four new councilors. “They know everything going on in City Hall already, so they are logical choices,” Katz said. The other three new councilors will be webloggers The One True b!X, Jack Bog, and Worldwide Pablo. Why three webloggers? “We get our facts from b!X and our opinions from Pablo’s site and Jack’s ‘1221’ site, so this way there won’t be any big changes in policy,” Sten answered.

In unrelated news, developer Homer Williams has asked the Portland Development Commission to help fund a mixed-use project in the Pearl District that would include space for newspaper offices and pressrooms on the lower floors, webhosting facilities above them, and swanky condominiums on the top.