Following long-established tradition dating back to 2004, we interrupt our support for the social welfare state to honor Tax Day by providing an inspirational reading apposite to this day. As with last year’s celebration, this reading comes from A.P. Herbert:
Save, save, they say, and put away
What you would like to spend today.
Don’t drink, or smoke, or go abroad
And all the parties will applaud.
But when the money’s in your banks
Expect no more the nation’s thanks.
Your earnings now have changed their name,
They’re capital, a cause for shame.
While any yield they may bring
Is dividend, a filthy thing.
But selling won’t remove the stain.
You make a beastly capital gain.
You should be like the State, you fool,
And make a capital loss the rule.
Give some away to poorer men?
Oh no, you’re dodging taxes then.
In short, the patriots who save
Remain in error till the grave.
So die as quickly as you can
And pay death duties like a man.
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Our customary jovial support for the welfare state will return tomorrow.
Comments
2 responses
You are such a great poet! 🙂
Sheilah, I can’t claim credit for this verse; it was written by A[lan] P[atrick] Herbert, a British lawyer, novelist, dramatist, and member of Parliament who was born in 1891. He’s best remembered for the short stories he wrote, in the form of law reports, to point out absurdities in the law. And he had a long-running aversion to the income tax: in one of his stories he had his fictional hero, Albert P. Haddock, pay his income tax by stenciling onto the top of a cow the words “Pay to the order of the collector of taxes (who is no gentleman) the sum of 57 pounds (and may he rot!)” As Mr. Herbert told the story, Haddock then signed the cow and led it through the streets of London to the office of the Inland Revenue, where he attempted to present it as a check with which to pay his income tax. The collector rejected the check.
At Haddock’s trial for not paying income tax, the judge asked the prosecutor if the tax collector had attempted to endorse the check, and if so, where. “Yes,” said the prosecutor, “on the reverse of the check — that is to say, on the underside of the cow.” Then followed one of my favorite Herbert lines, when the prosecutor continues with, “The cow, however, appeared to resent endorsement, and took up a threatening posture.”