I thought I should open the four bags of telephone books before the Laquedemitasse found an inventive use for them. Here’s what they contain:
Bag 1: (a) Qwest Dex "Community Edition" for Clackamas County, good through February 2006. (b) Qwest Dex "Community Edition" for the Greater Westside, which despite its name includes listings for points as far east as Gresham and Sandy, and is also labeled as good through February 2006, and also features a refrigerator magnet glued to the front, advertising a plumbing contractor. The White Pages (residential listings) are the same in both volumes.
Bag 2: (a) Verizon SuperPages, with business listings for Portland and Vancouver metropolitan area, dated February 2005, and a raffle number for free Blazers tickets. (b) Verizon SuperPages, "Washington County and Portland West Hills," which despite its name includes residential listings for portions of Clackamas County also, as well as a skimpy Yellow Pages section.
Bag 3: The same two books as Bag 1, except that book (b) in this bag doesn’t have the refrigerator magnet, plus (c) "Portland A-Z" Yellow Pages, labeled as good through December 2005, and (d) three envelopes of "Money-saving offers," which include some flyers of no special interest, a sample of 8-hour Tylenol acetaminophen tablets (which I think I’ll need after going through this stack of books), and two free AOL 9.0 discs. Interestingly, one AOL disc offers 1099 hours free for 50 days and the other more generously offers 1175 hours free for 50 days. (For reference, 50 days equals 1200 hours.) I’m not distressed at not getting a refrigerator magnet in this bag, as we have only one refrigerator in the house.
Bag 4: The same two books as Bag 2, but with a different raffle number for the free Blazers tickets.
After comparing the books in this 18-inch tall stack, I’ve decided that all but two will become fodder for the recycler. The Qwest A-Z Yellow Pages and the Greater Westside white pages can survive until the next barrage of bookbags hits home — which at the rate they’ve been arriving, could be as early as next month.